Should I ask your question or not?? hmm Just asking?

Please don't ask me why I blog on here. It's easier. Less people expect it. I found out my great grandpa is in hospice care and they only give him till the 30th. I was gonna go see him in July because part of me was saying that me might not make it and i won't get to say goodbye. That's terrible to think that you only have So little time to live! That kills me I can't call or see him one last time. I havn't seen him since last summer. We aren't even blood related. He is my Step-Grandma's dad. But still. He was so fun to be around. I don't even get to say bye. He has prostate cancer. I can't talk to any of my friend's cause they start laughing at prostate cancer. They don't understand either. It's so ******* hard. I feel like I'm in a box and I can't see out but I hear everyone laughing at me. I've gotten amazing at not crying. I taught myself not to. But right now I just need to and I can't. I just wanna die. It's not fair that he has to and I can't because he has a lot more people that love him then me. I want him to live. I finally found a song that describes how I feel, 'Mad World' by Gary Jules or other Various artist. Goodnight. Oh Should I ask a question???